i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found your dick twin last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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