Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
