If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
