how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
