I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
