she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize