forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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