I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
