Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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