lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
