I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
