Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Reggie can tackle my bush.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
