the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
