i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He has the fingertips of a God
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
