I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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