she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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