So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
