butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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