I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
