It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
bring money and cleavage
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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