All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
