i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
