When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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