She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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