i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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