Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
