gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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