Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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