Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
