Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
