Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sext me about skeletons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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