are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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