pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize