come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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