Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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