I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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