My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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