You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
