She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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