I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found a bag of teeth...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
