my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
