He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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