Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
