Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
