and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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