Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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