He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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