Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
