I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
nutella sex= disaster
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
