When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
