Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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