before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
