I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
