Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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