We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
