Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
