I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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