The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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