you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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