my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
