Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
