if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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