We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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