dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
