oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
