normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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