just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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